A powerful story from one of my greatest teachers
I want to share a story from one of my greatest mentors, the poet and activist Maya Angelou.
Maya was raped at 8 years old. She was frightened to name the person who did it, because she thought her relatives would hurt him.
A few days after she told her relatives, the man who raped her was found dead.
Maya realized in that moment how powerful her voice was. That it could be deadly.
For the next five and a half years, she didn’t utter a single word.
People could think, That’s an awful abuse story. What a terrible thing that she internalized this idea that her voice kills.
But Maya spent the next 5.5 years reading poetry, memorizing Shakespeare sonnets and full plays, reading every book in the Black library and then in the white library.
In that silence, she was alchemically cooking.
Her family sent her to her grandmother because they didn’t know what to do with her. And her grandmother said, “Don’t you worry, darling. You’re going to be a great teacher someday.”
She didn’t pressure her to speak before she was ready. She didn’t try to force her to “heal” or focus on her abuse in the typical way we usually think of it.
What was happening in that silence was a symptom of the violence she experienced, and the way her psyche needed to alchemize that experience in her own, gifted way.
She said, "When I decided to speak, I had a lot to say and a lot of ways to say it."
She went on to become a great teacher – one of the greatest figures in American literature and civil rights activism, who personally changed my life.
The wellness industry tells us we’re fucked up, and we need to “heal,” we need to “work on our trauma” in the way it deems appropriate.
If you’re sick, the wellness industry will look at your symptoms, but it won’t ask: “What have you been cooking in that chamber that you get locked into?”
There is no inquiry into who you are, what you need, what gifts are waiting to come forth from you.
Giving yourself the time and the resources you need to cook your trauma in your own way is one of the most powerful things you can do to follow your own individual life path.
This is true even if the abuse happened years or decades ago.
This is about more than just finding relief from the symptoms of abuse – your pain, your suffering, your self-doubt and self-hatred, your unhappiness in your life and your relationships. Although, yes, when you do this deep work you will find relief.
It’s about growing into the version of yourself that is fully authentic, and rising to a vision for your life that is powered by your unique gifts.
You don’t have to cook for 5 years to see these transformations happen.
I designed Trauma & Abuse: The Unshaming Way as a short-term container that gives you the tools you need to transform your life quickly, and to continue transforming it for years to come.
In these 6 weeks within the program, you will find moments of immense relief.
You will…
Gain the tools you need to stop resistant, hard-to-break patterns in their tracks
Learn how to stop recreating old stories in your relationships. If you have done work around your patterns before but they continue to repeat, it could be because much of the work you’ve done has been rooted in shame
Reframe your relationship with chronic pain and illness, for a more loving experience of your body. For some, this also brings relief from symptoms
More importantly, you will pave a pathway forward for a life that is fully aligned with your spirit, your uniqueness, and your gifts. And once you’re on this path, you will walk it for the rest of your life.
What will you discover when you start cooking?
I want you to take a moment and reflect on where your life could be in six months if you start this work now.
How might your abuse story be re-written?
Perhaps you’ll be able to think of past abuse without experiencing the pain and trauma those memories used to surface.
Or you’ll have more intimate relationships, because you’ve finally gotten to the root of the abuse that caused destructive patterns.
Or you’ll make room for more loving and honest connections because you’ll be living from your most authentic self.
Trauma & Abuse: The Unshaming Way tends to have an all-consuming effect that transforms every part of your life for the better. You will emerge more deeply connected to your Soul.
Click here to learn more and sign up for Trauma & Abuse: The Unshaming Way.
P.S. Check out what past students of mine have said about this work:
“Last night was excellent. At one point toward the end of our call, I was sitting cozy on my couch in the semi-dark, and I noticed many others were also cozy on a couch or a chair, all of us rapt in witnessing this teaching and unfolding, and it occurred to me how very atavistic this was, but with a modern twist.
“Just as in days of old, here we were, gathered around a flickering light in the evening, listening to a healer tell tales and perform acts of well, magic; creating and breathing air into new myths, teaching us how to re-member to be humans.
“It produced a moment of deep joy in knowing we can get ourselves back to the garden in the here and now. I am Soooo grateful to be in your stead.”
– Nikka Lynn
“Your work has changed my life in ways I never would have accessed or even would have been aware of. That word "unshaming" hits the deepest chord and resounds through many ugly voices that have tried to control my life. Thank you for your life's work and the pain you endured to give birth to it and change the world as a result.”
– Alex
“Learning from David changed how I approach so many topics that come up in not only my 1:1 coaching calls, but daily life and conversations. I am a forever learner but his approach on shame and unshaming resonated with me deeply.
“This program *changed my life and my entire relationship with myself*. It gave me a new set of eyes to see and experience myself and others.
“If I got *nothing* else out of it, simply interacting in chat with the other participants (I also made an amazing new friend through this!) and watching how gently and beautifully David SEES people, was well worth the money spent.
“If I could force everyone in my life to go through his work, I would, because it is magic.”
– Heather R.
“I recently finished a paradigm-busting course on shame from David. It blew my mind and heart to smithereens. And left in the wreckage is a sweeter, softer approach to life.
“I have definitely gotten my money's worth! I had an insight yesterday that I haven't shared yet. This program has unshamed me in ways I didn't know was possible.”
– January N.
