Why UnShaming is an urgent need
6 urgent reasons to UnShame now
I’m often asked why I consider shame to be such a destructive force.
Today, I want to walk you through the top 6 reasons why addressing shame is urgent:
Shame disconnects us from our true self and our soul purpose
Shame robs us of our power and vulnerability.
When shame rules, our voice and expression becomes muted, censored. We cannot speak too powerfully, boldly, forcefully, fiercely, or passionately.
Under shame, expression of our vulnerability becomes pathologized. We are taught to “heal” the parts of ourselves that are sensitive, tender, hurt, tired, or grieving.
The result is deep disconnection from the self.
We learn to ignore our inner voice that says, “This is what I want” or “This is how I feel.”
We silence our true self.
We ignore what our soul is telling us.
The worst part of that - our capacity to give and receive love are also muted, censored, and pathologized. Our hearts break.
When you UnShame, you reclaim the parts of yourself that you’ve tried to silence, heal, or erase.
When you UnShame, you’ll become more connected to your soul purpose and heart’s calling.
2. Shame makes you vulnerable to being sold “solutions” that may or may not work
Shame creates pain. It leads you down a path of figuring out what’s wrong with you and then hunting for solutions, healing protocols, and fixes.
Some of these solutions are helpful. But when one, two, or three hundred attempts to “heal” yourself don’t resolve the issue, that hunt for solutions becomes dangerous.
When you spend resources (time, money, emotional labor) on trying to “heal,” you treat yourself as if you are sick or broken. You treat yourself in ways that make you feel worse and worse. Your shamed self grows.
And there are many industries that bank on your shame.
The diet industry is worth $70 BILLION, but only ~5% of the industry is successful in weight loss.
They want you to feel shame when you look in the mirror and put clothes on, then look for “solutions” to change your body that we know from research are unsuccessful.
Living with shame makes you vulnerable to be sold these “fixes” that don’t actually work or address the problem at the root.
3. Society uses shame to control you
Society – and sometimes our families, friends, and unloving partners – try to control us through shame.
Shame tells you not to trust your own intelligence and soul wisdom.
It tells you there is just one way, or a right way, to be.
When this happens, we lose access to the life-giving energies that are the fuel for our greatest hopes and dreams.
UnShaming is an act of rebellion.
When you learn how to UnShame, you will start showing up every day exactly as you are, without trying to bend to fit the shape someone else says you should be.
Imagine the joy, courage, and new experiences available to you when you have this freedom.
Much of psychology and “healing” are devoted to normalizing and socializing. Socializing is good if you don’t know how to get along with others at all. But it tries to make us all 98.6 degrees. 98.6 degrees is good for temperature… but not so great for diversity.
4. Shame disconnects you from your deep intelligence by keeping you focused on what’s “wrong” with you
Inside your shame is the unique medicine you are meant to bring to the world.
If you continually treat your experience of challenges in your life as something wrong with you, you'll never know if something is there that wants to be heard.
The part of you that is shamed almost always has something important to contribute to your life.
Your acute body difficulties and chronic pain is trying to tell you something.
Shame tells you to look to external authorities to find answers. Unshaming teaches you to find your own inner source of medicine.
5. Shame disconnects you from your humanity
Suffering and trauma come with our humanity. Abusive stories come with our family, our culture, our social identity. Inner criticism and internalized criticism come with walking around in a human body.
We all suffer. But at a deep, soul-level there is nothing wrong with you.
When shame rules, you stop feeling your profound connection with the human story and the people around you.
Instead, you become more isolated. You feel like you are the only person in the world to experience what you are ashamed of.
Your world contracts as you learn to fit into a smaller and smaller space. In short, you become more alone.
6. Shame teaches you to distrust your experiences – including your feelings, perceptions, and story
Almost all of us who have been injured or violated have been part of a culture or had people around us who denied, dismissed, and gaslighted those experiences.
When that happens, you internalize this dismissive voice and treat yourself that way all the time.
You lose touch with your authentic self, intuition, feelings, and reactions.
For many, this manifests as staying with partners who don’t treat us well, or asking a therapist “Why am I still so angry?”… because the self-gaslighting runs so deep, you don’t realize it’s happening.
Through UnShaming, you learn how to truly trust the messages coming from your thoughts, feelings, desires, and body.
You open the doors to communication with your soul.
Many of my clients have likened UnShaming to meeting themselves for the first time.
These are 6 of the most common ways shame can impact your life, but the truth is, shame often runs our lives from behind the curtain, controlling and influencing us even when we don’t realize it.
That’s why I’m excited to invite you to join me for a free webinar on March 1, Foundations of UnShaming.
In Foundations of UnShaming, you will taste the freedom of a life without shame + experience what it would feel like to see yourself through unconditionally loving eyes.
If you crave to get a deep and nourishing taste of my paradigm and medicine – then this is for you.
Click here to learn more and reserve your free seat.
Sincerely,
David
